Monday, April 14, 2014

So much to say... and yet there are no words

I have so much to say, I don't even know where to start.

My week has been so full. So very full.

I will start with my heart's ache.

This week, a little boy- a neighbor- lost his life. He had just turned 5 in March. He ran into the road and was, tragically, hit by a car.

The devastation.
The loss.

There aren't words to describe it.

And, I am just a neighbor whose kids played with the boy and his older brother.
The pain his family must feel... I cannot imagine it.
His Nana brought flowers to our house today- because they have too many. The scent is almost too much- just so sweet.
The sweetness reminds me of his sweet innocence.

And all I can think is... He was just here...

He was here at my house last week, jumping on the trampoline... or trying to jump. It made him nervous. He would get on and off and on again. He kept trying. He enjoyed it most when his brother jumped with him but there were times when he would sneak in the back by himself, when the other kids were riding scooters and bikes. He'd sneak on the trampoline for just a bit and try it out. The boy was precious- just precious. He was full of spunk. When all of the kids were playing outside at my house, he'd try to come inside to play with the toys. If I met him at the backdoor and told him that everyone was playing outside, he'd try the side door. He did not give up. I'd lock the door so he wouldn't sneak in. And then, when he got in, which he did- everyone followed.

It shouldn't have happened.
It couldn't have.
It did.

And it breaks my heart.

My kids keep asking the kind of questions that kids ask. I am okay when they ask me... but, today, when my 6 year old asked Nana about the car that hit Logan, I just couldn't take it. Nana is a gracious, gracious understanding woman who worked in education for years. She is so good with kids. But it broke my heart to pieces.

There is no reason for pain like this.
It's just raw, excruciating pain.

I will carry his memory with me forever.
And his family- I just don't know how they are holding on.

His life was precious, everything that encompasses a five year old - energetic, mischievous, loving, curious. He had a zest for living.

We celebrated his life today.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Happy St Patrick's Day!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

From the Leprechaun Chase

Before school this morning

Friday, March 14, 2014

Thankful Thursday #202 on Friday

Yesterday was the kind of day when nothing went well.
It started at breakfast when my tooth broke while I was eating breakfast. Apparently, my old filing was no longer sufficient and decay occurred under it. That was a really bad way to start a day. I scrambled to get the kids to school while I was panicking about my tooth. I got an early dentist appointment. I found out that my break was the worst kind of break possible. My mouth was numb for 4 hours. I wept at home. When I went to get my son from school, he was crying. We went back in to talk to one of his teachers. It wasn't the best impromptu conference with a teacher I hadn't met before. I am disappointed- not with my child but with the teacher that my son meets with once a week. Needless to say, my son came home in a grumpy mood. After a few shouting sessions between him and his siblings, I sequestered him in his room with a snack and a good book. Oh, and during the the shouting sessions, the relator called. The house we rent is up for sale. We are planning to move this summer. The house was shown on Wednesday. The relator was calling to tell me that they put an offer on the house and that she is going to try to talk them into letting us continue to lease for the next few months until school is out. And if that doesn't happen... no stress there.
My tooth was still hurting. I went to bed early after a glass of wine.
Yesterday was just a bad day.

Today is a new day and I am determined to be thankful.

I am thankful for:

My husband who lovingly took care of me yesterday when I wasn't at my best
My brother-in-law coming home from his 10 month deployment TODAY!
My son excelling playing the trumpet in jazz band. His second jazz band concert this week is tonight.
Sunshine. The weather here is gorgeous. Bring on spring!
Music. The best part of yesterday was the run I squeezed in. I really enjoyed escaping to the sounds of my music.
Coffee. A hot cup early in the morning is just perfect.
Flowers. I have some pretty annuals I am going to put in pots today. Again, bring on Spring!
Humility. I just volunteered in my son's class. The whole class was reprimanded because so many of them forgot to bring things to class today. My son was included in the group. He forgot a journal, which he was certain he had put in his 3 ring notebook. He was visibly upset. His teacher didn't buy his 'I think it fell out' response. Upon returning home, I found that I had taken it out of his notebook when I took out the 'leave at home' papers. I humbly went back to his class and apologized to him. Oh sure, I could have waited until he was home but I knew he would be relieved to know it wasn't his fault.
The local sandwich shop. About once a week I treat myself to a sandwich from the local sandwich shop. I love supporting local businesses. I also love a good sandwich.
Coloring pages. My new thing to do with my daughter is color. It's been a fun together activity. She's even willing to let me color on the pages when she is in school. I haven't done that yet but you never know what this afternoon will bring.
The weekend. I'm ready for the weekend. It is going to be a nice mix of activities and relaxing.

I am going to continue to focus on being thankful today.
I'm also focusing on this verse:

From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Psalm 61:2